last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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