Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
