I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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