Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
