So drunk its hurt
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
