come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
