Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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