Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize