God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
