i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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