I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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