i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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