I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
