A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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