Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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