Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
