No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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