I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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