Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
