A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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