Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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