Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize