hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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