I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Is her dick bigger than yours?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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