I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
