I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
