We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize