you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
