I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
