haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
