But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she peed on how many people?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
