You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
