i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She's not a foreskin expert like you
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
