I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
