Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
do herpes really smell.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
