Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Are my feet made of real feet?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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