Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize