Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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