I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
