ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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