We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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