Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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