You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
