dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
