lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
what day is it and did you see me today?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
