Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
