she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
