Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
