My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
