Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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