she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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