Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
