hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
