five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize