I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
