it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
