if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
