Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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