So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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