Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
