I am puke
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
