god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
