There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
