Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
