i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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