I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize